We all know the saying “you don’t get a second chance at a first impression.” More often than not, that “first impression” happens without any sort of verbal introduction. Your first impression to the large majority of the world happens from their perception of you, from you posture, body language, actions, and perhaps your speech.

What you “say” with your body carries a lot of volume!

Even if you completely master the art of sounding confident, people will never believe what you say if your shoulders are slumped and your eyes are cast downward when you say it. As Allen Ruddock once famously said, “Your body communicates as well as your mouth. Don’t contradict yourself.”

In addition, audiences trust nonverbal communication above your words and your speech content, so ensure you are sending open, positive signals with your body language. Here are some of the top physical actions of confident people for you to emulate, and tips for how to look more confident.

1. Keep shoulders back and down

The easiest way to make you look more confident and relaxed is to roll your shoulders back and down away from your ears. When we’re stressed or tense, we tend to raise our shoulders, so fighting this natural tendency automatically makes you look more comfortable and in control.

2. Lift your breastbone

A simple lift of your sternum instantly make you look more confident. Your sternum is located in the middle of your chest and connects your upper ribs. An open, upright posture conveys confidence, authority and high status.

3. Move with intention

A great way to enact confidence is to move with purpose. Meaning, if you’re exiting the room, do it with purpose. If you’re drinking from a bottle of water, make it look like it’s part of your plan.

In the instructional book, “A Body Prepares: A Complete Guide To Physical Warm Up Exercises For Performers,” Jake Urry, the author, introduces the idea of “archetypes” – conventions for actors to easily access specific physical, vocal and emotional states to portray a certain character. By exhibiting qualities of certain archetypes, purely on the physical level, the actor immediately is able to assume qualities that character would have.

For example, to access “The Hero” archetype, an actor would make sure that:

“…every movement you make has a sense of purpose. You see something in the room, go over to it without hesitation and interact with it forcefully and straightforwardly. Nothing gets in your way, and if it does it pays the price.” 

You can easily access “The Hero” archetype as well by moving with purpose.

4. Keep your eyes focused on who you are speaking to

If there’s one thing you should do to evoke confidence, especially in the office or in high-pressure situations, it’s making eye contact when you speak. According to CNBC, eye contact is an important nonverbal social cue because it projects confidence, self-esteem and assertiveness.

In her book “The Body Language Advantage: Maximize Your Personal and Professional Relationships with this Ultimate Photo Guide to Deciphering What Others Are Secretly Saying, in Any Situation,” Lillian Glass shares that breaking eye contact not only suggests submissiveness but that “when eye contact is maintained, it signifies control or power over a situation and establishes dominance.”

When someone is talking to you, make sure you look them in the eye. Avoid looking away, or worse, looking down at your feet, which makes you look untrustworthy and unsure.

5. Use “open” postures versus “closed” postures

Stay away from any action that “closes” off your body or makes you look smaller.

Common examples of closed postures to avoid:

-Crossing your arms

-Crossing your legs

-Hunching shoulders

-Standing behind physical elements (like a podium or desk) when speaking

Instead opt for “open” postures – actively choose to take up space and make yourself look bigger.

6. Stand firmly planted on two feet

Leaning on walls, desks, or other physical objects gives off an aura of laziness. Especially if you are speaking to an audience, you want them to perceive you with authority and respect, which is better articulated through a firm, surefooted stance, away from anything that could be tempting to lean on.

7. Use gestures to emphasize points

I recently watched a TED talk by Vanessa Van Edwards, interpersonal intelligence expert and public speaker, on this exact topic.

In her TED talk, “You Are Contagious,” interpersonal intelligence expert and public speaker, Vanessa Van Edwards explains, that when we see someone, the first place we look (or we think we look), is the eyes, mouth or face.

But what Van Edwards and her team found after analyzing thousands of other TED talks and how they were received online was different – when we first see someone, where we actually look is at their hands.

This finding actually goes back to caveman days – when two cavemen approached each other, they looked to the other’s hands first to make sure they weren’t carrying some sort of weapon. In this case, hands are a representation of “friend” or “foe.” Hands represent intention.

Another key finding from her study:

Our brains gives 12.5x more weight to hand gestures than the actual words that come out of a person’s mouth.

So, an easy way to act more confident is to use gestures to emphasize points and to create trust with your audience.

8. Make like Wonder Woman…

By now, you’ve probably heard of the idea of “power poses,” and there’s a reason they’ve made a splash! Certain “power poses” don’t just change how others perceive you – they also immediately change your body chemistry.

Professor Amy Cuddy, the author of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges has become somewhat of an expert in the space of body language. As she explained in a now-viral TED talk about body language, she and her colleagues put together a test in which they asked people to assume a “high-power pose” (like the Wonder Woman pose, leaning forward on a desk, or reclining with arms placed behind the head) for 2 minutes. They also asked people to assume a “low-power pose” for two minutes (closed off body language, hand touching the neck – to defend our weakest area).

The results?

After just a 2-minute “high power pose,” the risk tolerance of the high-power posers soared. Meanwhile, the risk tolerance of the low-power posers shrank.

Striking a “power pose” the next time you’re feeling vulnerable, nervous or weak can help transform your confidence levels from the inside out.

9. Practice mirroring

Another common way to act more confident and level up your status is by mirroring the posture and actions of the person or persons you are interacting with.

Mirroring body language is a way to bond and to build understanding. “It is a powerful tool that we use instinctively without even being aware of it” (Psychologia). One of the best examples of natural mirroring is smiling – seeing a smiling person makes you want to smile too, and as a result you will feel better, even if you were not feeling particularly happy to begin with.

Mirroring body language is a non-verbal way to say “I am like you, I feel the same.”  It levels the playing field, creates understanding and creates mutual respect. So the next time you are having a conversation with someone, and you are feeling less-than-confident, try mirroring their body language – the way they’re sitting or standing, the tilt of the head, even the tone of their voice. Almost immediately, it will help ease your communication.

10. Lean in

To appear more confident, and also help create understanding with a person you are speaking with (maybe even disagreeing with), practice the “SOFTEN” method.

SOFTEN stands for:

S = Smile

O = Open Posture

F = Forward Lean

T = Touch

E = Eye Contact

N = Nod. 

These are just a few physical traits of confident people that can help you act more confident and put your best foot forward, wherever you are.

What are some of your favorite tips for acting more confident?

Take it to go! Download your “10 Ways to Look More Confident in 30 Seconds or Less” Cheat Sheet here!

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