Communication is both an art and a science – it takes practice and technique to be able to do it well. And especially in today’s digital age, where so much of our daily communication is conducted online or via phone, the opportunities to hone your in-person communication skills are certainly dwindling down.

But having strong communication skills is a key that can unlock many doors throughout your lifetime, and you don’t need a PhD to achieve great communication skills. Here are three areas to verse yourself in to be able to learn how to communicate with anyone.

The 3 Elements Of Direct Communication

According to Albert Mehrabian of UCLA, there are 3 elements in any direct, face-to-face communication. They are the elements of words, tone of voice, and body language.

1. The Words You Say

When it comes to communication, the first element that is important is, of course, the words you say. The words you say matter – whether you’re speaking to yourself, or someone else – and the weight of your words shouldn’t be discounted. Choose your words carefully, and don’t be afraid to speak slowly. Slow speech patterns (especially without filler words, like “um” or “like,” or other credibility-damaging phrases) come across as deliberate and confident. In short: don’t be afraid to slow down! Speaking quickly doesn’t mean speaking intelligently.

However, no matter what you’re saying – whether you’re delivering a speech or telling your significant other how your day went – you must realize that the words you say only account for 7% of any message. The remaining two elements of communication are even more important, starting with…

2. Emphasis and Tone

The second crucial element that impacts how well you directly communicate with others is the emphasis and tone of your voice. Emphasis and tone have the power to completely change the message that is being communicated.

The best way to demonstrate this example is by looking to man’s best friend – dogs. Dogs can’t fully understand humans and the words we say (according to experts, intelligent dogs can learn around 165 words, which is still quite a lot!), but dogs are expert interpreters of emphasis and tone. In essence: it’s not about what you say, it’s how you say it.

The same thing can happen in direct communication with another person – if someone asks you how you’re doing, and you respond, “I’m fine,” but your tone of voice is flat, or sarcastic sounding, then your answer is certainly not “fine” at all. Be aware of your tone and inflection when you’re speaking with others – you may be communicating an emotion without meaning to!

3. Body Language

The third element of communication, and perhaps the most important one of all is your body language.

Based on what I’ve read, body language and nonverbal communication conveys 80-90% of the weight when you’re interacting with another person. So even if you’re telling someone, “I’m so excited to be here,” if your eyes are looking elsewhere, your feet are pointing in a different direction, and you happen to be crossing your arms… then your verbal message will not be received.

In addition, audiences trust nonverbal communication above your words and your speech content. Posture is the body’s most honest indicator of our thoughts and feelings, so ensure you are sending open, positive signals.

If you want to become a more effective communicator from a physical perspective, you can dramatically increase the effect of your communication by leaning toward the speaker or shifting your weight forward onto the balls of your feet, which signifies attentiveness and interest. Furthermore, if you can face the person directly (hint: angle your feet/toes to them) and give them direct eye contact, combined with fully-focused attention, you double the impact of what you’re saying. Here are some other great tips for being a better physical communicator, and looking more confident. 

The secret to truly effective communication is to make sure these three elements are working in harmony – that your tone isn’t conflicting with your words, and your body language is supporting your core message. If your three communication elements aren’t working harmoniously, then your companion will be confused and will have a tendency to accept the predominant form of communication rather than the literal meaning or words.

So the next time you’re communicating with someone, make sure to be cognizant of all three of these communication elements, not just what’s coming out of your mouth. Doing so with triple the impact of your communication!