“The first step to getting what you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.”

I love this quote because of its simplicity.

You probably have heard people complain about their lives. In fact, I would be really, really surprised if you never heard some sort of “life’s not fair” or “I hate my job” or “my life sucks” complaint… and if you haven’t, hey I want to hang out with your circle of friends. And kudos to you for surrounding yourself with positivity.

But here’s the thing: it’s a lot easier to complain than it is to decide what you want, and then go for it. Which is why so many people do it! They’re dissatisfied with their lives, so they complain about it, but they don’t actually do anything, and so their life goes on, the way it always has.

But you are not one of those people! And the first step to getting what you want out of life and creating your dream life is to decide exactly what it is that you want.

Finding Clarity

So what we’re talking about here is clarity. And clarity is a really powerful thing!

Perhaps one of the most powerful things we can do on our journey to supreme self-confidence, and living our ideal life is realizing, clarifying, and NAMING exactly what it is that we want.

Think of it this way: if you can’t say what it is that you want, how can you expect to achieve it?

You could have the most finely tuned, expensive, state-of-the-art compass in all the land, but unless you have a destination, your journey will be unsuccessful.

In addition – clarity is a constant. If you’re able to find clarity on what it is that you want, then that’s something you can cling to – even when everything seems to be going wrong, and it’s easy to get distracted, clarity will help keep you motivated and grounded.

So start now. What do you want? Really. Not what you think you should want, not what your family thinks you should want, not what the generic standards of “society” say you should want. YOU. If you could wave a magic wand, and have your ideal life materialize in front of your very eyes, what would it look like?

How to Find Clarity of Purpose

These are some of the key clarity questions that can help you discern the exact life that you want to build for yourself in the next year and beyond:

• How do you want to make a living?
• What is your dream job?
• Where do you want to live?
• Who do you want to live with?
• How do you want to spend your time?

The choice of how you live your life is YOURS.

It really is.

You just have to decide what exactly it is that you want.

Exercise: Discover Your Purpose

We all want to find our “purpose.”

But oftentimes, it’s a bigger question than we even know how to start finding an answer to. Some people are lucky enough to know as kids that they want to become a doctor or a teacher or an astronaut, and they dedicate their lives to doing just that. But for the rest of us? The other 99.9%? It’s not that easy.

Luckily, I’ve come up with an exercise to help you determine what I like to call your RFB – your Reason For Being. In other words: WHY do you exist? What is your purpose? How do you live the life you were meant to live? Big questions with difficult answers!

But answering them is a worthwhile undertaking – discovering your sense of purpose will not only help you live a happier, more fulfilled life, it will also do some serious good for your health!

Need proof? Having a sense of purpose is proven to cut the risk for heart disease, stroke, Alzheimer’s disease and depression, and the resulting stress reduction has even been shown to improve sleep quality and sex life! Also, the Japanese – who embrace this idea of being “ready to live fully” through their word for purpose, “ikigai” – consistently boast the highest average life expectancy in the world.

To discover your RFB, take some time to answer the 4 questions and complete the exercises below. Three of these questions map to significant key points and understandings about yourself (if you have been following along with #35DaysofConfidence, you will already have answers for these questions – woo hoo!), and the fourth question maps to external observations about the world around you.

Your RFB hits at the intersection of your answers to these 4 questions.

And it is THERE, I promise you. You may just have to do a little digging to find it.

And you know what else? Your RFB is yours, and yours alone. No two people will have the same RFB. You are unique, and your talents are too.

To quote the inspirational Marie Forleo: “You are here for a reason… No person has or ever will have the unique blend of talents and strengths and gifts and perspective that you have.”

….And it is your responsibility to USE that unique blend of talents, strengths, gifts and perspectives to discover your RFB and to live the life you were meant to live.

So, let’s get started!

Take the next step in deciding what you want, and discovering your unique purpose with this free gift: a 7 page worksheet to help you discover your “Reason for Being.”