“You can’t always get what you want.”

Well, no offense to Mick Jagger and the Stones , but I respectfully disagree.

Because getting and having what you want is a matter of perspective. And I’ve found that there is a key change you can make in your life to make sure you always get what you want: 

Talk about your life like you already HAVE what you want.

This may seem counterintuitive, or over-simplified, but I promise: it works. Here are a few ways to enact this change to always get what you want in your own life.

Manifest Your Dreams into Your Reality – Speak in the Present Tense

One of the best strategies I’ve ever heard for getting what you want is grounded in affirmations and vision statements. I was recently talking with a colleague of mine (she’s responsible for Bonus #3 on this page!), and we were sharing our yearly practices for manifesting our dreams and goals.

She shared that her organization is big on the power of Vision Statements – which is the practice of writing down a 3-5 sentence paragraph that encompasses all that you want to accomplish in the next year. But the kicker is: it’s written in the present tense, as if it has already happened.

So, for example, instead of saying “I want to make $100,000 this year,” you would say, “I make $100,000 per year.” You shift from want to have in your thinking, and in how you talk about your goals.

You apply this tone to your entire Vision Statement, and make your goals and achievements as specific as possible. And then here’s the key: you keep that Vision Statement in an accessible place (like in the Notes on your phone, or in your daily planner), and you repeat it out loud every day.

My colleague shared with me how astounded she was the first time she employed daily Vision Statement repetition. When she set her goals for the statement at the beginning of the year, they seemed so far off, even unreachable. But when we spoke (which was in November last year), she shared she was amazed at how many of them had come true or were close to coming true!

This is because the practice of repetition, and speaking our desires out loud is incredibly powerful. When we speak our desires, we take them from living in our head, to living in our reality. This gives them power, and makes them more attainable, achievable, and tangible.

Plus, when we speak our Vision Statement out loud every day, we are reminded of our biggest goals and aspirations on a daily basis. This serves to guide us each day to make choices in line with those goals and aspirations. It positively impacts our daily course of action to progress us positively in the direction of what we want – which in turn gets us closer to achieving it.

An Example of Manifestation in Action

Here’s simple example of how this has worked in my own life. When I made the decision to quit my 9-5 job in 2018, it was so I could pursue the life of my dreams, and do work that was meaningful and soul-filling. So, I made the decision that I was going to start living my dream life, and I made that an active part of my vocabulary. When people asked me how I was doing or I was dialoguing with clients, I would share, “I’m living my best life” or “I’m living the life of my dreams.”

And I don’t know if it’s because I really was living my dream life, or just that I spoke this phrase so much that it became my reality: but I can say with 100% confidence today, that I AM living the life of my dreams. And because I have this positive, grateful, aspirational outlook on my life, so many wonderful opportunities have presented themselves to me as a result, which only makes me feel more blessed and affirmed to keep doing what I’m doing.

So, give this a try in your own life. How can you shift from thinking about what you want to talking about what you want? How can you start living as if you already have the things that you desire. Craft your Vision Statement and get to repeating it out loud every day. 

How to Get What You Want When Talking With Other People

It’s one thing to get what you want when you’re talking to yourself, and going about your own personal day, and shifting your perspective can really be a game-changer there.

But there’s a whole new set of rules that come into play when you’re trying to get what you want from someone else.

When you find yourself talking to others, and are planning to proposition them with something, there are few body language adjustments you can make to help them feel more comfortable and inclined to give you what you’re asking for.

Try employing the SOFTEN method, a respected way of using non-verbal communication to SOFTEN the hard-line position of others. SOFTEN stands for:

S = Smile

O = Open Posture

F = Forward Lean

T = Touch

E = Eye Contact

N = Nod.

These subtle body language adjustments help to create trust and likability between you and your partner, which subconsciously primes your partner to be more open and receptive to your proposition.

Give these tactics a try today – and see how they positively impact your life and your intentions as a result!