Earlier this week, we returned from a five-day vacation to Hawaii – one of my favorite places!

My dad was in the Navy and for the majority of my young life, that meant moving around a lot. One of those moves was to Hawaii, specifically Oahu, where we lived for three years. For that reason, Hawaii has always held a very special, sentimental place in my heart, since I have such great memories there with my family.

My husband and I picked up and traveled to Hawaii for a quick trip, and although it was much needed, I had mixed feelings on the day we left…. And here’s why:

As you know, for the last 11 months I’ve been doing this little thing called ‘starting my own business.’ And I’ll be honest: it hasn’t been easy. For every joyful, tearful client breakthrough moment and glowing review of work delivered, there have been (on average) 15 moments of self-doubt, frustration and worry. Which is all the MORE difficult when these are the things I am supposed to be teaching others how to overcome!

And I’m not going to lie – there have been days (although they have been few) where I think, “Wouldn’t it just be easier to quit? To go back to a 9-5 and have everything tied up nicely with a bow and not have to worry about making enough money to pay the bills or building something new from scratch every damn day?”

Well, I was having one of those moments right before we left for this trip. I was stressed and discouraged. (By the way, “There are no stressful situations — only stressful ways of perceiving situations. Thanks Jen Sincero!)

But I’m happy to share that after five days in Hawaii – I’m feeling renewed, re-aligned, and more motivated than ever. I had a couple key moments of realization on our trip that helped me get to this headspace, and I wanted to share them today, in case anyone reading can benefit from these realizations as well.

Realize how freaking lucky you are

The first moment that blew my little head trip off its hinges happened in church (at my old middle school, of all places).

While we were sitting in mass, I heard a message in the homily that basically smacked me in the face because it was God speaking directly to me: You have to be willing to risk it all. To lay down all your possessions. To not leave anything for the swim back. Because it’s WORTH it. And because you HAVE to. Otherwise you will always feel like something’s missing, and you’re not doing the work you were truly meant to do.

And how lucky am I to even HAVE this opportunity?! A year ago, I was sitting at a desk doing a job that brought me zero fulfillment and LOADS of unhappiness. The fact that I changed that situation and I am now on the path to building a business I LOVE and helping countless others along the way is seriously a blessing.

This realization alone was pretty much enough to snap me out of my own BS (and I talked my husband’s ear off about it the entire drive up to Haleiwa after mass – sorry babe!) So in other words:

Stop complaining, put on your big girl pants, and do the work you are lucky enough to GET to do.

Go at your own pace

Another thing that took me WAY too long to realize was that I was seriously subjecting myself to “the comparison trap” when it came to my business.

Yes – Comparison. The thing that I literally go OUT of my way to educate others on and help them proactively avoid in their own lives.

Because here’s the thing: I was fully aware of the comparison that existed in my personal life. I KNEW I was comparing myself in terms of vacations, livelihood, the all too familiar #hairenvy, and especially as an actor… and I had done a pretty good job of overcoming that comparison with abundance mindset thinking (there is enough room for ALL of us to succeed, after all).

But until very recently, I didn’t realize how unfair I was being to myself in my business, and my expectations for myself. I mean, only I would come out the gate after making the leap to full-time entrepreneurship, and be expecting to have $10K months within my first quarter, right?

And it took me longer than I’d like to admit to realize that – even though I’m seeing a LOT of female entrepreneur success in my life and I’m fortunate to have so many sources of inspiration, their story isn’t MY story. And I can’t expect to be where they are at RIGHT NOW, after a measly 11 months of inconsistent work and focus. That’s a little ridiculous, actually, Alyssa. For some reason, this came into clear focus for me on our trip to Hawaii – and I’m so grateful for it!

This is the double-edged sword of ambition – being so focused on achievement and the BIG goals that you lose focus on the importance of your personal growth path: the lessons, the failures, and the learnings along the way. So for me, the next four months of 2019 are all about FOCUS (as well as commitment), and setting daring, yet realistic goals for myself.

It’s okay to ask for help

Truth time: building a business isn’t easy.

…Oh, did everyone know that but me? Cool.

But seriously. Even though I come from a marketing and course building background, doing these services for YOURSELF and creating your own business (that just happens to be a reflection of your values, your talents, your passions, and, you know, YOU as a person) is a totally different ballgame.

Some days – I am ON FIRE. I know exactly what I’m doing. Things are working like clockwork. I’m seeing growth and I’m feeling fulfilled.

But other days – I have NO idea what my next step should be. I get overwhelmed by all the things I could do next, so I end up doing nothing. And feeling crappy as a result.

One of my greatest strengths is that I am a leader – I am highly self-motivated and entrepreneurial, and not afraid to strike out on my own. But – this is also a weakness. Because usually, I prefer to do things on my own. And it’s hard to ask for help.

I realized in Hawaii that I need help. And more so – it’s okay to ask for help.

Success leaves tracks, and like I mentioned above, there are so many kickass female entrepreneurs who have found crazy success and are passionate about sharing it with others. So why not take advantage of that? Why not learn from someone who’s been there, how to get there, yourself?

After this realization, I enrolled in an entrepreneur-focused program and after one week, I already have so much more clarity and focus on exactly what my business looks like, and where I need to go. So – it’s okay to ask for help you guys. After all:

The best thing you can invest in is your own growth.

After all of these realizations, I am SO excited to come back and DIVE in to projects in motion and seriously level-up. In fact, I’m working something exciting right now that I can’t wait to share with you all… so make sure you join my newsletter using the form below so you can be one of the FIRST to hear about it!