The dreaded “R” word: rejection. (Even typing the word is unpleasant!) It’s something that comes up in our lives probably more often than we’d like.

As an actor, rejection is something I have to deal with all the time. It’s part of the job. You can’t let it derail you, otherwise every week of your life becomes a train-wreck.

But still, rejection. Always. Sucks. It’s never fun. But, it is a necessary and normal part of life. The key is to not let rejection knock you down for too long – here are some strategies to help you bounce back from rejection more quickly and stronger than before.

Take the time you need

Rejection stings. It hurts. So before you paste on that smile, and pretend like everything’s fine (you’re not a robot, after all!), take the time you need to wallow. Wallowing is A-OK in my book, as long as it has a deadline. You are allowed 24 hours to be sad, or hurt, or angry about your rejection. And that’s it.

So, order that delivery food, curl up on the sofa, zone out in Netflix land – whatever you need to do to just take a personal time-out in the name of self-care (and wallowing). It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel sad, and it’s important to acknowledge your feelings.

However – if you don’t feel sad? Then skip the wallowing. Be in touch with your unique emotions, and recognize how you’re feeling. If you’re feeling angry, fired up, or just ready to move on, then skip right on down to step 2.

Get in touch with your emotions

Rejection hurts for a lot of reasons. And when you find yourself hurting, one of the best things you can do to find YOUR personal solution is identify exactly what you are feeling. Rejection often feels like a personal failure – but why exactly is that failure making you feel sad, or angry, or ashamed, or hurt? Are you mad that someone else was selected over you? Are you feeling hurt because your romantic feelings were on the line and you feel personally rejected? Are you angry because you feel like you wasted your time preparing for something that didn’t work out?

Get specific on what you’re feeling. This is truly difficult, because it requires us to be honest with ourselves, and honesty can be painful. But honesty is the only way to make real progress.

Recognize the opportunities that stem from the rejection

I deeply believe that everything happens for a reason. Yes, you should feel responsible for your life, and you should do everything within your power to prepare and apply yourself to the opportunities that you want – and fiercely pursue them!

But you also need to be able to acknowledge that – when things don’t work out the way you want them to – there is a greater reason behind it.

When you feel rejection, when an opportunity doesn’t pan out, it’s only because something else – something better – is waiting for you. Sometimes, we have to get a door slammed in our face, to realize that there’s a door, just further along, that’s waiting to invite us in with open arms.

And you must believe that this is true!

Because the sooner you recognize that opportunities stem from rejections, then the more quickly you’ll be able to bounce back.

Lean on family and friends

When you’re feeling down, one of the best things you can do is lean on the support of your loved ones.. Especially when all you want to do is hang out in bed (remember: your wallowing has a deadline!), reaching out and connecting with someone can make you feel so much better. Relationships are the most fulfilling element of our lives, but it’s easy to forget that when we become wrapped up in our own journey. And you’ll pretty much always feel better after talking to someone.

When all else fails: call your mom.

Hit the gym

One of the best ways to jumpstart good feelings after rejection is by getting your sweat on. Working out offers a host of physical and mental health benefits, and exercise is proven to “improve your mood, lift your spirits and make you feel better about yourself” (Livestrong.com).

When we exercise, our bodies produce endorphins, which are chemicals that reduce the perception of pain, improve immunity and help you relax – they are natural mood boosters that heighten “feelings of optimism and satisfaction.” So when you exercise, you are naturally turning on you body’s “override” system for the negative feelings associated with rejection.

Create a small victory

I love this advice from Peter Shallard – to help bounce back from rejection, you should find a way to have a small victory. According to Shallard, “you can condition yourself to be “on a roll” by making little victories stack up, making your failures seem insignificant.”

So find a way to create your own wins after a rejection experience. Cross some items of your to-do list. Shift your attention to a new goal. Hey, even cleaning the house or tackling that stack of dishes counts as a win! Figure out what will be a significant victory for you, and make it happen.

Take yourself out of the equation… and move on

One of the things that stings most when we do experience rejection is our pride – we are inclined to take the rejection extremely personally (which is totally natural and normal!)

However, more often that not, the reasons we are rejected are NOT personal. If it’s job interview, then we don’t have control over the other candidates we’re up against. If it’s an audition, maybe the casting team was looking for someone with a certain height/look to match another casting choice. Even in dating scenarios where you experience rejection, it can be completely because of factors that have NOTHING to do with you.

Remind yourself of this after any instance where you feel rejected. It may even help to make a written, verbal or mental list of all the other factors that could have played into the decision that caused you pain.

Once you have dedicated a reasonable amount of time to analyzing the situation (as we are all apt to do), it’s time to move on. Of course, this is much easier said than done, but truly one of the best things you can do to get over an instance of rejection is to move on, and set your sights on your next goal. This will give you a new outlet to focus your energy and thoughts on, and pretty soon, that previous rejection will be well-behind you, and in your rearview mirror.