Say what you will about 2021, but one thing is for sure: it was a year of change. And since you all know how big I am into reflection and planning, I wanted to make sure I took the time to look back on 2021 and note some of my own biggest learnings. Today I’m sharing some of the most important lessons I learned in 2021. (Maybe sharing these lessons will help you learn something, too!)

1. Trusting that what’s meant to be will be 

This was a big one for me in 2021. As a recovering perfectionist & control freak, it is (unsurprisingly) often very difficult for me to “let go” and just let things happen. 

And this feeling, for the record, is psychologically supported by the internal “Locus of Control” theory – which proves that the more “in control” of our lives we feel, the better we feel about ourselves and our ability to perform. You can read more about the Locus of Control (and internal vs. external applications) here.

And that’s not to say that exercising control, as much as possible, in your life isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s a very good thing! And this is something we can easily do by taking such actions as: constructing your ideal daily schedule and/or your ideal weekly schedule, and creating a morning routine (see #2 on this list!)

But at the same time, it isn’t healthy OR realistic to think that we can control everything that unfolds in our lives. And one of the best ways we can give ourselves over to this fact, and be okay with releasing total control is by accepting that “what’s meant to happen will happen.” And isn’t that such a comforting belief? That regardless of what we do or don’t do, there is higher power and a larger force in motion that’s making sure that our lives unfold exactly the way they are supposed to. 

I’ve found that comes into play a lot with making big decisions. If there was a big decision in my life that I was struggling with, in 2021 I really gave myself permission to hit “pause” and trust that the right outcome will either present itself or unfold naturally. (This also has to do with developing the habit of patience – something I’ve talked about before – and the sense of self-connection it creates).

And more often than not, agonizing over big decisions (that we may or may not have control over in the first place) just creates more stress for us – stress that can be avoided or minimized if we just TRUST that what’s meant to happen will happen. This applied a lot for me in 2021 in my acting career. In acting, 99% of the time (if not ALL of the time), you don’t have any say in whether or not you “book” a job. The best you can do is prepare, show up as your best self in your audition and callback, and TRUST that if you’re meant to get the job, you will. Adopting this belief (which I’ve heard over and over for YEARS, by the way! It’s just taken this long for me to actually come to peace with it and internalize this belief) brought a lot more joy and ease to my acting career in 2021. (And – maybe unsurprisingly – that joy and ease translated to more bookings!)

In Summary: When you relinquish some of that control over what’s meant to unfold in your life, you may just find that you get what you wanted all along. 

2. Giving yourself the gift of a morning routine is one of the best things you can do for your mental health and daily output capabilities

Morning routines are not a new concept around these parts. A consistent, empowering morning routine can have an incredible impact on your mindset going into each day (and subsequently, the way your day goes). Whether it’s 5 minutes or 55 minutes long, it doesn’t matter. What matters is giving yourself the gift of time to HAVE a morning routine that’s uniquely yours, and that energizes and centers you for the day ahead. 

And this is something I already knew going into 2021. I have been working with some semblance of a morning routine for years. That routine has adjusted and grown over the years, sure, but in 2021, I felt that a lot of the elements that I either struggled with finding a way to include, or elements that weren’t 100% serving me as a morning routine practice settled into place.

For example, for so long I had wanted to make yoga a part of my morning routine, but I was never able to execute it consistently. As much as I wanted to make more time for both bodily stretching and mindfulness, it didn’t feel right, and as a result, I really struggled to implement it. 

Then, one day, I realized a solution. Sometimes when I’m at the gym doing my cardio warmup, I’ll go on YouTube and find a video (usually health-related) to learn something new, and get mentally primed for taking care of myself and my body with a good workout. After watching these videos, I always feel inspired to take action. So, on this day, I thought to myself – “This is such an energizing practice to me – what if I added it to my morning routine and paired it with stretching?” I gave it a shot and it felt so natural, so energizing, so repeatable – and I’m happy to share this pairing has made it in my morning routine for the last few months with a sense of ease.

In general, I’ve found that “pairing” some of my morning routine elements not only helps with flow, but also with consistency. So watching an inspirational YouTube video + stretching is a great pairing for me that I’m able to easily incorporate into my morning routine. So is making my bed while listening to my daily horoscope, and reading personal development while eating breakfast. This is similar to the idea of “habit stacking,” a concept that James Clear, the author of “Atomic Habits,” talks about in depth (you can read more about habit stacking and why it’s so effective here).

2021 really brought home for me that – when I’m able to consistently perform my morning routine, I’ve already done SO much good for myself (my brain, my body, my mindset) that I’m able to jump into my work with more energy and focus. I’ve prioritized myself and my needs, so it’s easier for me to then shift focus and give more fully to the needs of others. 

In Summary: Having a morning routine is self-care. If you don’t currently have a morning routine in place, I encourage you to start, and start small. Use this framework for my 5 minute morning mindset mastery routine as a way to get started, and then adjust and expand from there. 

3. Setting better boundaries and expectations is a journey 

In 2021, I also had some major learnings (and some positive incorporated steps!) around setting expectations. As an entrepreneur, it’s all too easy to get swept up in a “work ‘round the clock” mentality. And I’ve learned, time and time again, how important it is to set boundaries. But, like most things, this is always much easier said than done, right?

Setting boundaries is a journey. You start small, and as you grow in your practice of self-respect, you realize other ways you can be setting healthy, fruitful boundaries for yourself. For me, as a service-based entrepreneur, many of these boundaries come down to making sure I set good expectations with my clients. These include expectations on when I’ll be in touch with them, when I’ll be delivering the first draft of their new resume, when I’ll be available/unavailable – and making sure this flow of communication goes both ways so both parties feel respected and prioritized. 

Two major “boundary” adjustments I made in 2021 were:

1. Implementing a calm inbox – I’ve talked about the idea of calm inbox before, but 2021 was the year I found a way to implement it that works well for me. Instead of having my email tabs open all day (such a common practice, right?), I restricted my email checking hours to just 12-2 pm each day. More importantly, I SET this expectation/boundary with clients and colleagues by adding the following note to my email signature:

Now, I can’t say that every day is perfect – sometimes I’ll check email beyond those hours – but I’d say that 80% of the time, I’m able to respect this boundary for myself. I strive to only send and respond to emails within that 12-2 pm window so my clients and colleagues know that’s when they can expect to hear from me. And the results have been less stress and a better ability to “disconnect” both at the end of my workday and on weekends from my work.

2. Removing email from my phone – Guys. This was a HUGE adjustment for me. I started to realize just how frequently (almost compulsively) I was checking my email when I removed all communication apps from my phone for a week as a part of going through The Artists Way, and it was eye-opening. So, after implementing the calm inbox adjustments mentioned above with success, I had the secondary idea to remove the ability to check email from my phone (and restrict it to my computer only).  Making email a computer-only function for me has a been a game changer in my mindfulness and my continued journey to “be present” in my daily life. It also became very clear to me within about a week of implementing this practice that I don’t NEED to check email on my phone. At all. Now, I know not everyone may have this ability, but if you do – I strongly, strongly encourage it. Give it a try for one week and see how it goes! 

In Summary: Setting boundaries (and expectations that help you uphold those boundaries) is a constant journey.

Of course, there were countless other things I learned over the course of the last year, but these three really stand out as ones I want to actively acknowledge and continue to build on. I hope that my sharing these personal learnings from 2021, you may have gained some ideas that can help you set boundaries, start your day with self-care, and lean into a greater sense of trust in your life’s work and purpose!